1. |
To Love
03:05
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Do you want to know?
Do you want to know why our love is no more?
It became a chore
Always winding my way through the maze
Like a game only I never scored
Cause I wasn’t playing
Now I can feel your eyes on me
Wondering hungrily
How you couldn’t keep me
Back when I was easy
To love to love to love
How couldn’t you keep me?
I made it so easy
To love to love to love me
Do you want to know?
Do you want to know why when you look at me
You feel alone?
You seek joy
In testing loyalty
And you always take the easy way out
Looking for that quick payout
You push down
Instead of lifting up what you love
To conceal that you’re just not enough
What a waste of my love
Now I can feel your eyes on me
Wondering hungrily
Why you couldn’t keep me
Back when I was easy
To love to love to love
How couldn’t you keep me?
I made it so easy
To love to love to love me
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2. |
I Never Learn
04:05
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I can’t remember how I feel
Cause I got tangled up in the ideal
I only wanted something real
Now I can’t remember how I feel
I stare at the portrait from outside the frame
Inspecting, perfecting, so I can attain
A picture that’s perfect, a woman who’s worth it
Such a waste, such a god damn shame
I never learn, I never learn
I fed on a false notion:
A woman’s worth, a woman’s work
Is to win your desire and devotion
If I’m not the subject I guess I’m the other
His inspiration, his muse or his mother
All beauty and grace, not taking up space
Such a waste, such a god damn shame
I can’t remember how I feel
Cause I got tangled up in the ideal
I only wanted something real
Now I can’t remember how I feel
I never learn, I never learn
I fed on a false notion:
A woman’s worth, a woman’s work
Is to win your desire and devotion
I can’t remember how I feel
Cause I got tangled up in the ideal
I only wanted something real
Now I can’t remember how I feel
I can’t remember how I feel
Cause I got tangled up in the ideal
I only wanted something real
Now I can’t remember how I feel
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3. |
Small Talk
04:03
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Have you tried to dive
Beneath the bottom of despair?
Or do you try to hide
Fearing the solitude and solace
You might find down there?
Do you dare?
I can’t find the courage not to care
I can’t find the courage not to care
Are you paranoid?
Do you feel the void?
I keep pulling on people trying to cure my pain
And I’m always disappointed when it ends the same
Suspended in something that I can’t sustain
Cause it always finds a way back into my brain
Have you tried to untie
All those little lies
That make that dissonance rest
Just inside your chest
Are you paranoid?
Do you feel the void?
I keep pulling on people trying to cure my pain
And I’m always disappointed when it ends the same
Suspended in something that I can’t explain
But I always crawl my way back into my brain
Can we cut the small talk?
Lay our fears on the ground
Shed all pretences
Quit hanging around
Just outside of
Just outside of
Just outside of real love
Just outside of real love
Just outside of real love
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4. |
To Hate
04:01
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I was trying to get up
I started checking the news
The day was bright
Now it’s bruised
And I’m angry but it’s no use
How to make it change
You know I’ve got no clue
So much in the world seems to favour so few
And no one gets rewarded for telling the truth
But it’s no excuse
Cause it the same shit
Can’t keep ignoring it
It’s the same shit
It’s an anxiety state keeping fully awake
To all that unchecked power and that oblivious hate
I catch a hundred new ways for my heart to break
And with each new humbling realization
I get hit with that helpless hopeless desperation
Some days the world is a place I think I’d rather escape
I’ve found a hundred new ways to waste it away
But I won’t succumb to that fucked up fate
I’m going to find some more hope in my cynical rage
That it could change
That I could be an antidote to hate
Going to be an antidote to hate
I could be an antidote to hate
Going to be an antidote to hate
Its the same shit
Can’t keep ignoring it
Its the same shit
It fucking makes me sick
Its the same shit
Gotta be an antidote to hate
Gotta be an antidote to hate
Gotta be an antidote to hate
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5. |
Secret Church
02:19
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I’m going to build a castle, my secret church
And it will be a sacred place to worship
Nothing but the truth, nothing but the earth
Because I’ve got to stay close
To the cracks that make me feel alive
Like the pines
Shaking their fists against the sky
Shaking their fists against the sky
Charlie I’m tired
Am I coming untied?
I’m not a liar
I’m just undecided
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6. |
For Others
04:09
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There are so many things I long to be
Other than a mother
But I found someone’s son I’d like to keep
With that soft strength like my brother
Now I ask impossible things
Of my lover
Of my lover
Half the glow and half the ache in me
Are my mother
Am I my mother?
There are habits I refuse to meet
At my alter
I see in my father
But there’s an uncomplicated ease
To being his daughter
Now I ask impossible things of my lover
Of my lover
To try to cure incurable things within me
That haunt me
Resigned to suffer like my mother
Where every urge to be set free
Just gets smothered
Just gets smothered
For others
For others
For others
For others
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7. |
Doubtmouth
04:25
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I almost choked on all the doubt
As the words were trying to leave my mouth
I was taught to be polite
Lately it seems that’s just another word for keeping quiet
Feels a little one sided
Though I’m always trying to deny it
And I can’t subsist on swallowed pride
Living half out loud, feeling half alive
Can’t exist alone in my mind
With my head nodding
And my mouth just smiling
Too tired to tiptoe between
Too much this and too much that tonight
Too bright a light
To be dimming myself down for you
Well I couldn’t keep my anger down
And I watched as I lost all my ground
I thought passion was a virtue
But it seems like that’s only true if its coming from you
And I can’t subsist on swallowed pride
Living half out loud feeling half alive
Can’t exist alone in my mind
With my head nodding
And my mouth just smiling
Too tired to tiptoe between
Too much this and too much that tonight
Too bright a light
To be dimming myself down for you
Too tired to tiptoe between
Being nice and being right tonight
To bright a bitch to be dumbing myself down for you
He said it sounds like you’ve got something to prove
And I said maybe
Maybe baby I do
Maybe baby I do
Maybe baby I can’t subsist on swallowed pride
Living half out loud feeling half alive
Can’t exist alone in my mind
With my head nodding
And my mouth just smiling
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8. |
Modern Love
03:29
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I was looking for somebody
To figure me out and come to love me
Like I was wanting
I was incomplete
Like winning love would justify me
I was looking for somebody
To crack me open, set me free
But I am the lock
And I am the key
I’ve got everything I need
Honey what did you expect
When you’re the one you most neglect?
Its all cause and effect
You accept what you think you deserve
Gotta get up your nerve
Cause you are the water that ends the drought
All the love you need springs from loving yourself
You can’t forget it now
Gotta remember how
To make your own damn bed and sleep in it
Cause you are the one you’ve got to live with
I was looking for somebody
To prove something of myself to me
But I faced myself and now I see
I’ve got everything I need
Honey what did you expect
Forgetting all your self-respect?
Its all cause and effect
You accept what you think you deserve
Gotta get up your nerve
Cause you are the water that ends the drought
All the love you need springs from loving yourself
You can’t forget it now
Gotta remember how
To make your own damn bed and sleep in it
Cause you are the one you’ve got to live with
You are the water that ends the drought
All the love you need springs from loving yourself
You can’t forget it now
Gotta remember how
To make your own damn bed and sleep in it
Cause you are the one who’s got to live with it
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9. |
Didn't Ask
04:27
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He says, hey, hey beautiful
And I beg, tell me something I don’t already know
Cause he’s looking at me like I’m something he’d like to collect
And he’s looking at me like I ought to be flattered by it
Funny a compliment sounds so much like a threat
When its implying your eyes are the best way my worth is assessed
I didn’t ask for your opinion
So why’re you yelling in the street?
I didn’t ask for your opinion
I’m not a piece of meat for your eyes to feast on
Deep down we can both agree
You’ll never get to feel the love of a woman like me
You keep on going home lonely
He said ‘smile baby’
and I thought maybe
I could just be left alone
To feel what I want to feel
To look how I want to look
To say what I want to say
To scowl if I feel that way
I didn’t ask for your opinion
So why’re you yelling in the street?
I didn’t ask for your opinion
I’m not a piece of meat for your eyes to feast on
Deep down we can both agree
You’ll never get to feel the love of a woman like me
You’ll keep on going home lonely
I’m tired of faking it
I’m tired of taking it
You left no room so now I’m making it
Cause I’m tired of faking it
And I’m tired of taking it
You left no room so now I’m making it
Cause I’m tired of faking it
Cause I’m tired of…
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10. |
Asleep / Awake
02:33
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For Esmé Toronto, Ontario
Righteous Woman is a feminist awakening and excavation of the voices within, repositioning the multitudes of womanhood, to push back against the patriarchy, to offer the possibility of living on one's own terms.
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