For Esmé

by For Esmé

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credits

released July 16, 2013

Music and Lyrics written by Martha Meredith

Keys and Vocals - Martha Meredith
Guitar - Aaryn Alford
Bass - Kevin Blair
Drums - Shane Lemieux
Strings - Mika Posen
Male Vocals - Jos Fortin & James Bunton

Produced by James Bunton
Mastered by Bova Sound

Album Artwork by Spencer Cathcart, Charles Bierk, Nick Bierk and Martha Meredith

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about

For Esmé Toronto, Ontario

For the month of December 2016 all purchase proceeds will go directly to the Canadian Mental Health Association's Gift Giving Fundraiser!

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Track Name: 302
city lights
can you cast some shadows for me tonight
i need a restless dark
can we hide from who we are?
and can i have another sip of that red wine
and can i sit where i don't have to face my fears
and i can hide away until the smoke clears

i've got a gift that's got me bound
i've got a guilt that keeps on bringing me down
i've got a gift that's got me bound
i've got a guilt that keeps on bringing me down

grungy floor
don't track the world in through that door
over flowing sink
empty glasses and i can't think
can i have another sip of that red wine
and can i sit where i don't have to face my fears
and i can hide away until the smoke clears

i've got a gift that's got me bound
i've got a guilt that keeps on bringing me down
i've got a gift that's got me bound
i've got a gift that keeps on bringing me down

you're my escape and i'm here to hide
in the sound of you not sleeping at my side
but as the sheets unfold, could i be so bold
as to ask you to hold onto me?
'cause you've always had a hold on me, on me

and i've got this gift that's got me bound
i've got a guilt, can you keep it from bringing me down
i've got a gift that's got me bound
i've got a guilt, can you keep it from bringing me down?
Track Name: House Dream
wherever did you go
leaving curtains blowing
its snowing inside
of the final scene
from our house dream
how did you mask my memory?
does it haunt you like it haunts me?
i promise that i will leave you always waiting

where did you hide away
leaving curtains swaying
i'm waiting on you to explain
the final scene
of our house dream
how did you mask my memory
does it haunt you like it haunts me?
i promise that i will leave you

where did you hide me?
where will they find me?
oh why did you leave?
where will they find my memory?
oh i promise to leave you
always waiting

for the final scene
from our house dream
thought you could hide from my memory
but i'll haunt you and you'll haunt me
and i promise to leave you always waiting
Track Name: Grace Is Such A Good Word
i wish that i could be filled up with grace
so you'd never know when i don't know what to say
i wish that i had control
so you'd never know when i get so low
that i start thinking like a stone
thinking how you could let me go
thinking i could just cut the rope
and float on

i could be an island, free
i could be an island, would i be lonely?

i wish that i was made of a mask
so you'd never know when i'm glass
i wish that i could have known, could have known
that i could be so heavy, that i could sink so low
that i'd start thinking like a stone
thinking how you could let me go
thinking i could just cut the rope
and float on

i could be an island, free
i could be an island, would i be lonely?

if this is just a war that i won't win
can you let me know, let me go
let me give in?
if this is just a war that i won't win
can you let me know, let me go
let me give in?
i could be an island, free
i could be an island, would i be lonely?
Track Name: Cinque Terre
we climbed a mountain to look at the sea
and the sun shone off green grapes
and your hair moved with the breeze
i looked at you and you looked back at me
and i found myself wondering
what i used to be so afraid of
and what our bodies are made of
and if ghosts walked along on the path where we stood
and if we'd get to to be all we'd be if we could

the sea wrapped around a town of many colours
there were whispers around us but there weren't any others
so we climbed back down and climbed under the covers
but i hid my face once i started to wonder
what i used to be so afraid of
and what our bodies are made of
and if ghosts walked along on the path where we stood
and if we'd get to be all we'd be if we could

but i've prayed to particles up in the sky
trying to find my place in pages of a big book of lies
but the little lights they listen, like they're alive
small souls whisper secrets from the dust where they hide
where there's nothing to be afraid of
'cause that's what this body is made of
out of ghosts that have walked on the path where we stood
they say try to be all that you'd be if you could
Track Name: All The Evil
i'm scared to talk
because i've been taught
that my words can really wound
and i can't say what i am
can't say what i'm not
so don't ask me for the truth
because i can feel your eyes and your ears on me
and all i wanted was to feel your hands
she said its hard to know if we're happy
and i think i'm just beginning to understand

i lay down and let all the evil carry me away
i've given the most dangerous things
all the power to make me stay around
until they break me down

i'm starting to know just a little too well
what she's been talking about
because it rings a bell that i can't seem to ring out
she says her sadness is a sickness
and she can't seem to find the cure
i know that i meant to ask how i could help her
but i never found the words

i lay down and let all the evil carry me away
i've given the most dangerous things
all the power to make me stay around
until they break me down

but i keep having dreams that i can't remember and i can't seem to shake
but it seems a waste of all this darkness to be lying here awake
so can you tell me what it takes, what would you have me forsake
to keep these highs and lies alive
without breaking me down
without breaking us down

can't you see why i'm scared to talk
because i've been taught
that my words can really wound
and i can't say what i am
can't say what i'm not
so stop asking for the truth
Track Name: Crime
lovely little lies can't keep you safe
porcelain looks so pretty till it breaks
you left no room for mistakes
"think plan do" she used to say to you
but you never listened anyway
now all the girls you love to hate
they watch, they wait
because its a sin to be dissatisfied
i should know, i've tried and tried
and its a crime i've come to love

i followed signs to a fantasy
where nobody was who they said they'd be
because they all love the lies, just like me
so passive, perfect, pleasant, politely
and it's a sin to be dissatisfied
i should know, i've tried and tried
and its a crime i've come to love

they would probably like you better
if you could be a little less pulled together
he would probably like you better
if you could be a little less puled together

you've got to play beautiful and hard
follow all the rules that you learned on the school yard
keep up with the friends you fear
you've got to keep your enemies nearest and dearest
don't you know?
well its a sin to be dissatisfied
i should know, i've tried and tried
and its a crime i've come to love

they would probably like you better
if you could be a little less pulled together
he would probably like you better
if you could be a little less pulled together

you better pull yourself together
you better you better keep it all together
you better keep that smile on your face forever and ever
you better pull yourself together
its a crime i've come to love

they would probably like you better
if you could be a little less pulled together
he would probably like you better
if you could be a little less pulled together
Track Name: The Key
i've worked so hard for this heart of steel
it can take it
but it don't know how to give it out
it can sing "la la la la" but it don't know how to shout
i'm not afraid
at least that's what i'd say
if you could hear me
if you could hear me

but my silence is the lie that weighs me down
my silence is the key to my cage

my brain has learned so many words
so i could use them
to say what i'm feeling
instead of kneeling at your feet la la la la like i don't know how to scream
i'm not afraid
at least that's what i'd say
if you could hear me
if you could hear me

but my silence is the lie that weighs me down
my silence is the key to my cage

like a stone, hard and alone
i'm paralyzed
not by fear, but by what i hold dear to me
it's cowardly to hesitate
when i know the way
to my escape
we all know that i could run
i've got breath in my longs
i've got fire inside
a voice to keep alive
i've got the words in my heart
so why can't i start to set myself free
set myself free

but my silence is the lie that weighs me down
my silence is the key to my cage
Track Name: Alice
if i could grow everything you need
to help you sleep, to keep you breathing
i'd be kneeling in the dirt trying to make it work
i'd be reading every word trying to make it work out
i'd bring the water and i'd bring the light
i would roll up my sleeves, watch it grow alright
i'd bring the water and i'd bring the light
i would roll up my sleeves, watch it grow alright

but luck follows me, luck follows me
gotta roll up my sleeves, roll up my sleeves
'cause i've got a little dirt, got to make it work for me

so i'll bring the water, i'll bring the light
going to roll up my sleeves, watch it grow alright
i'll bring the water and i'll bring the light
going to roll up my sleeves, watch it grow alright

travel the world she said, you can live by the sea
travel the world she said, but you've got to roll up your sleeves

'cause luck follows me, luck follows me
luck follows me, luck follows me
got to roll up my sleeves, roll up my sleeves
'cause i've got a little dirt, got to make it work for me
i'm going to harness that hurt, make it work for me
i'm going to harness that hurt, make it work for me
i'm going to harness that hurt, make it work for me
i'm going to harness your hurt, make it work for me

i'll be your water, i'll be your light
i'm going to roll up my sleeves, it will all be alright

'cause i can grow everything you need
to help you sleep, to keep you breathing
i'll be kneeling in the dirt trying to make it work
i'll be reading every word trying to make it work
trying to make it work
Track Name: I Found A Place
i found a place with the sun on my face
and the windows rolled down
it starts to fade as the gold turns to grey
i wish i could make it stay around
i'd like to buy us a little more time
if i could make this mine
if that would make this mine

but it's a lonely place in my head tonight
and all the lights burn red tonight
as i try so hard not to complain
but this quiet little riot just ain't the sane way

you've got a real job and i'm just that slob
with my bottle, my books, my guitar
but you're getting paid to play somebody's maid
while i play at becoming some star
but i'd like to buy us a little more time
if i could make you mine,
if that would make you mine

but it's a lonely place in my head tonight
and all the lights burn read tonight
as i try so hard not to complain
but this quiet little riot just ain't the sane way

if happiness is a headspace, do you know the way?
and if love is a place can i stay there with you?
don't want me to lose any sleep over you
you don't want me to lose any sleep over you
but it's the least i could do

he says it's easy to love me
it's easy to be free
it's easy to be ourselves
but if easy is the only thing keeping us here
it would be easy for somebody else
and he's got a ticket, got a ticket to get out of jail free
but it's not a ticket, not a ticket to a claim on me

but if happiness is a headspace, can you lead the way?
and if love is a place can i stay there with you
don't want me to lose any sleep over you
you don't want me to lose any sleep over you
but it's the least you could do

because these lips they're tired from never getting used
and these hands, they're not sure how to hold onto you
and the space between fingers, it longs to be filled
like the cold, crisp sheets that are giving me these chills
we can sleep when we're dead
won't you be with me instead?
we can sleep when we're dead
won't you be with me instead?

(show me the place where you feel safe
we can stay awake, we can stay awake
we can sleep when we're dead)

'cause if happiness is a headspace than you lead the way
and if love is a place? well you know i will stay there with you
don't want me to lose any sleep over you
you don't want me to lose any sleep over you
i'm not scared to lose a little sleep over you
i'm not scared to lose a little sleep over you
its the least i could do
its the least we could do

(show me the place where you feel safe
we can stay awake, we can stay awake
we can sleep when we're dead)
Track Name: 250
which way to the window in the woods?
would you take me back there if you could?